Perspective

Perspective in theory of cognition is the choice of a context or a reference (or the result of this choice) from which to sense, categorize, measure or codify experience, cohesively forming a coherent belief, typically for comparing with another. One may further recognize a number of subtly distinctive meanings, close to those of paradigm, point of view, reality tunnel, umwelt, or weltanschauung.
To choose a perspective is to choose a value system and, unavoidably, an associated belief system. When we look at a business perspective, we are looking at a monetary base values system and beliefs. When we look at a human perspective, it is a more social value system and its associated beliefs. ~Wikipedia

We don't really get into Halloween around here. Yes, we let our kid dress up in a cute costume and take her trick or treating with the cousins, but there's no decorating the house or scary movies, etc. Well, my sweet girl said she wanted to be Kermit The Frog. So me being me, and not wanting to spend a lot on a frog costume that she'll wear once, decided I would make one. How hard could it be? Apparently, it's really not easy being green, because I can not find 1 single "kelly" (Kermit's true color) green hoodie or sweat pants anywhere. Ok fine. So I order an $8 hoodie online that should be delivered by today, and decide to make the pants, eyes, and collar. (At the last minute, no doubt!) Spent a few hours last night cutting out frog legs and looking for patterns for the collar and eyes. The mail comes, and low and behold, there's still no green hoodie. Chase down the mailman and he doesn't have it or have any idea where it is even though the computer says it was delivered Sat. Call the mail delivery annex and they said it was delivered Sat. and there's not much they can do for me. Starting to loose my cool at this point. Then I thought about having to tell my sweet girl that Mommy isn't going to have a Kermit costume for her. Let the water works flow from this Momma's eyes. I was so sad. I started texting my friends with boys asking if they have one? Daddy jumps online at work and searches for a costume and is willing to pay the big bucks for overnight shipping. I pull out the turquoise green hoodie and pants I bought just in case and think of how silly she will look and how no one will know she's Kermit because it's the wrong color green.

Then I log into facebook. Probably about to write some horrible status about how sad I am that this is all happening and how horrible my life is because I can't make my daughter the Halloween costume that she wants and that the mailman sucks because he lost our package.

Instead, I saw my friends posting pictures, like this. 

This is from a friend who's family owned one of these houses in Breezy Point, NY. They were not sparred from the destruction of Hurricane Sandy yesterday. So many years of memories, all gone. They are thankful that no one was injured here. It's just a house.

Then there was this story......Joy's Journal

Thank you God for giving me a lot of perspective today. The costume, however unnecessary, is coming together without the lost hoodie. I was made blatantly aware of the fact that I was a little out of touch with reality today, and need to start each day by organizing my thoughts and focusing on what is really important. Thank you God for my family and our good health, a safe, warm place to call home, and your unconditional and unfailing LOVE!  

3 yrs ago

3 years ago, today, we were on our way out to Columbus. We had received the call we were waiting for just 3 days prior, that we had been selected by a Birthmom and she wanted to meet us. I sit here remembering the emotions of that day. We were so nervous we could puke. Excited for what the future may hold, but reserved and grounded. I'm not sure how that's all possible at once, but I know that my husband was my rock through it all. I would have to go back in my blog to know for sure, but I would guess that I wrote about details of that day here already. I guess the thing that I remember most about that day, was how my heart was breaking for this sweet girl, who was so brave and strong. I just wanted to scoop her up and bring her home with us and help her get on her feet. I also remember telling myself that if she decided that she was going to parent this baby instead of  placing her with us, that we would all be just fine. Well, if anyone even reads my blog, there's a good chance you know how the rest of this story goes!

I think it's interesting how as time goes on, our focus has changed. During the first year after Mira was born, we remembered the events and milestones of the year before. Not a day went by that I didn't think, "this time last year, we.......". The second year, the little milestones slipped away, but I could still recall most details. This past year, I've been so busy keeping up with my sweet girl and the 2 babies I watch that it wasn't until last night that I realized it was Oct. 25, and I hadn't even thought about how on Oct 23, 2009, I was sitting at my sisters house when my cell rang. It was our case worker explaining that we'd been selected and she wanted to meet us. It kinda felt weird that Oct. 23rd 2012 came and went, and I hadn't thought about that wonderful day. Although I don't remember all the words that were said, I don't a year will pass that I don't remember Oct. 26th as the most important day for our family. A tall, skinny, blonde girl sat across from us, sharing her life with us. She had suffered so much, and possibly still is to this day. I have cried many tears for her, thinking of the milestones in Mira's life that she isn't apart of, and how amazing it is that she allowed us to share in this much joy. I hope she always knows how important she is to us, and that we will always love her and welcome her to be apart of our family.

I guess this would be an appropriate post to do a Mira update as well. I can't seem to ever focus long enough to blog regularly, so I better do it now! Miss Mira is in love with musicals and live shows. We went to Idlewild 4 times this summer, and the child never wanted to miss a show! They are so cheesy there but she loved it! I can't wait to take her to a real musical, or better yet, DISNEY WORLD!! She will be so excited. She is really being a great helper for me (most days) when the babies are here. She loves helping with diaper changes and picking up the toys that they drop over and over again. We finally achieved the status of completely potty trained. I haven't bought pull-ups for about 3 weeks! She was still needing them at night, but something finally clicked and she started waking up dry! When we used the rest of a bag up, I decided not to buy anymore. I was pretty nervous about wet sheets, but knock on wood, that has not happened at all! It was the strangest thing tho.....anytime I tried her in panties and told her that she was in panties and needed to keep them dry all night, she would panic and have to pee every 5 minutes. As long as we don't bring attention to the panties before bed, and never mention about needing to wake up to pee, she is completely fine. She wakes up one time a night to pee, but goes right back to sleep! It's really amazing how long the potty training process can take, and how it can be so different from one child to the next. I'm glad to officially be passed that stage! Mira loves the Muppets and frequently acts out the scenes. She randomly breaks out in song, or says something from the movie. When I ask her what that's from, she'll tell me it's Gary and Walter (from the Muppet Movie). Some of the funniest things she's saying right now are, "I can't alieve (believe) it!", "Hey Mom, I have a question for you.", and "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She can count to 13, and 20 with help. She's starting to recognize letters, and associate words and names that go with the letters. She's very good at M is for Mira!

I think that's all for now. I really should have been creating my sweet girls Halloween costume instead of blogging, but I guess Kermit the Frog will have to wait til tomorrow!

Emotional Week

On Sunday we found out that a friend of the family passed away. A young guy, who only lived a short life. I kept sobbing for his Mother. She lost her baby. The youngest of 3 boys, who are all very close. A mother. Lost her baby. I can not fathom the pain that she is feeling, and will continue to endure. I kept waiting, hoping, praying to hear that it wasn't true. From Sunday until Wednesday evening it was all I could think about. Every time I kissed, hugged, played with my baby I thought of her. Many tears were shed. I tried to think of why God would take him from his family. There must be a reason. He always does things for a reason. Then Wednesday evening I drove to the viewing to pay my respects and hug the family. Justin stayed home with Mira since it was quite a drive and later in the evening. There was not a dry eye in the room, and you could feel the families pain. I had no words to say, just hugs to give and tears to share. It was really true. I saw him laying there. She lost her baby. As I was driving home, I called Justin to let him know I was stuck in construction traffic and would be there soon. Mira wanted to talk, so I told her I was on my way. We've been watching Daniel Tigers Neighborhood a lot lately, and there's an episode where they teach about Mommy and Daddy coming back when they take you to school or go out on a date and leave you with a sitter. They sing a song called, "Grown-ups Come Back".  As soon as I told her that I would be there soon she sang that song to me. I choked back my tears as we ended our call, and couldn't help but think that what if I didn't come home some day. Like Ethan never made it home Sunday morning. I was sobbing over the thought of how sad my baby would be if her Mommy didn't make it home. When I got home, it was time for bed. I was squeezing her extra tight that's for sure. She was really sweet, and wanted to wrap her arms around my neck and hug me while saying her prayers. She thanked God for our blessings, and prayed for Jill and Sam and Brianna. Thanked God for her family, our food, and asked him to keep us healthy and safe. She says, "hank you a bwessings" over and over when she's praying. I can't wait for the day that she truly knows what that means. We gave lots of kisses that night, like every night, and she and Daddy exchanged eskimo kisses, which she calls "mesiko" kisses. Tonight while tucking her in, she wanted to hug both Daddy and I during her prayers. She wrapped her arms around both of our necks, and said her sweet, sweet prayers.  Thank you God for our sweet amazing Miracle, and for the beautiful memories that we are making every day. Praying for the Day Family, as they mourn the loss of their sweet baby. May they feel God's loving arms around them daily, and may they find the peace and comfort they need to heal. I know they will celebrate Ethan's short life and share their happy memories with everyone!

Some days......

Some days, I wish that we lived in a fancier house.
Other days I could care less about fancy, and am grateful that we have house, with 4 walls, windows and a roof to protect us.

Some days, me and my girl go about our business like your normal average family.
Other days I sob constantly at the fact that God gave me this beautiful spunky child to nurture and love and I feel more than average! Down right special!

Some days, I get so impatient thinking about having a second baby. Annoyed at the people who can get pregnant whenever they want. Angry at the people who have babies and don't take care of them. Jealous of the people who miraculously get pregnant against the odds. Sad for my friends who have to go through the same feelings I do.
Other days, I'm reminded of God's perfect plan. How our patience paid off in more blessings than we could have ever imagined. How beautiful the child is that God created for us. Our perfect child. How abundantly blessed our journey to parenthood has been.

Some days, I forget I'm an adoptive Mommy.
Other days it's all I can think about. Really? God and Mira's Birth Mom trusted ME to take care of this child. I still pinch myself over our journey to become parents, and pray daily for our future children.

Some days, parenting is easy.
Other days are so dang frustrating that I can't wait until bedtime. I can't wait until I don't have to lay in Mira's room with her until she falls asleep, can't wait until I don't have to run to the potty with her, can't wait until I don't have to watch her every move so she doesn't get hurt. Then I realize how sad it will be when all those stages have passed. I will spend less time with her, and she will be independent.

Some days, I wish time could stand still.

This N That

Source: Uploaded by user via Jenny on Pinterest

I thought this quote was fitting for my mood lately. I tend to forget how to deal with being busy, as in, doing more than just taking care of Mira daily and massaging occasionally. I can easily let myself get overwhelmed and bogged down, if I don't remember to be thankful for the opportunities that I'm given. Watching my friends babies is such a blessing for us. I am able to be at home with Mira, which is what I want the most. However, I am fortunate enough to be helping two sweet, loving families with their babies. It's really working out great. The Mommies are being very considerate of my families needs and it really is a great thing. Mira is behaving well this week too! She's loving "Her Boy" S and has cooperated for the most part. Baby B is off this week, but will be back next week. I'm hoping that transition goes well for all of us, but we'll deal with whatever. Yesterday I was working from 7am-7pm. Ugh. I also had some major cramps and no energy on top of that. Dear God, that was funny. Let's not let it happen again! I was praying that He would give me the strength I needed to make it through the day. By the time I got to my second job, I was feeling much better. I actually ended that long day feeling better than when I started! I remembered to give Him the glory. I struggle a lot with some things. I try to ward off jealousy by creating new things in our life to be excited about. Not necessarily buying new things, or spending money, just something new to work towards or some exciting event to look forward to. I've kinda been in that funk lately, like, all my friends are pregnant and looking forward to a new baby, or buying new cars, or taking an awesome trip. I'm searching for what our next excitement will be. Often during these times, I try to remind myself to draw nearer to God. To open my eyes and ears and be still enough to listen for the way He is leading us. I guess that would be discernment. I am also reminded of the Prayer of Jabez, and how we are supposed to ask God to bless us.

I think this post is kinda random, so I'll just add to that. I really wish that I could become a more organized housekeeper. Not to impress anyone, just to keep my self sane. Also, I'm really irritated at myself for not being able to complete a couple photo memory books that are long over due for completion. I hope that when I hit "publish" the photo quote at the top fits in the page and is no longer cut off. I really don't have the energy or the expertise to fix it. 

Week in Review

Wedded Bliss!

We celebrated our 8th anniversary as Husband and Wife this past week. We're not perfect, but we have some really great things going for us! In the midst of crazy schedules and a demanding 2 yr old, it's important to stop and realize that this is our life. We can either get frustrated and stay home, or we can suck it up and torture our kid by making her do the things we want to do! We took Mira to Cooper's Rock with us, where Justin proposed to me 9 years ago! It was much less peaceful and romantic this time around, but I was happy to be able to take Mira with us to make new memories together. When Justin proposed to me, he got down on one knee and said that he brought me there because it was a new place for us to explore and as we travel through our journey called "life" we would be exploring many new places together. OR something LIKE that! Ha! As we were walking through the woods, and playing hide and seek in "Rock City" I couldn't help but reminisce about the journey we have been on since that proposal. Some good, some bad, but I've made it through with an amazing man by my side. Loving and learning as we go. I pray to be a better wife. To learn everyday how to best serve my Husband according to God's plan. To teach my Daughter how to do the same. God's still working on me, and boy does He have his work cut out for Him!

 Photo courtesy of Mira!

 

Adventures in Babysitting!

This week was pretty busy with babies! We watch 4month old Baby B on Monday and Wednesdays, and this week she came Friday also. Baby S will be Monday -Thursday but was only one day this week. He'll start full time when school starts. Let me tell you how BIG of an adjustment this is for Mira and I. I am getting a little taste of what my Mommy friends with twins go through! Mira's working through some jealousy stuff, which is totally to be expected. She has been the center of my attention for 2.5yrs. I need to work on my temper towards her when she's having a difficult time dealing with it all. There are times when she is a really great helper, and other times she's regressing into baby mode and making things very difficult. The babies are getting into the swing of things, and I am confident that once we are on our "regular" schedule, things will get easier. I'm thankful for the opportunity to watch both these babies, and their Mommy's are working well with me on schedules and such. Pray that this is the right path for our family. I'm thankful to be able to work at home. I really appreciate my time with just MY baby, and I'm working on her getting to appreciate our alone time together as well! 

 

Blast From The Past!

That is the theme of the county fair, but I only know that because I looked it up on the website when needing a subtitle! Ha! We tried something new this year, riding the trolley to the fair! What a fun time for the kids! Thursday, Mira and I met Mimi and Kayleigh there. Friday night we took Daddy! We rode the trolley, walked through the animal barns, (the piggies were a favorite!) and congratulated our Cousins for winning Champion and Reserved Champion Steers! We enjoyed some treats, (of course!) went to the petting zoo, and then headed back on the trolley. A great (sticky, dirty, smelly) time was had by all! 

 

Beautiful

After a pretty hectic weekend, (good, but crazy!) I got Mira to bed early and was relieved to go veg out on the couch. Instead, the gorgeous sunlight shining into the windows caught my attention. I grabbed my Hubby and we sat on the front porch watching just about the most beautiful sunset we've ever seen. I sat in awe of God's intricate creation. The bright blues and greens, yellows, oranges and pinks. Amazing. Just like a painting. These pictures do not do it justice, but will remind me to stop, and witness how amazing our God really is.

We watched as the sun sank lower and the bright beautiful colors faded into a dark sky. I stand in awe!